2 december 2024 – 9:49
under capitalism, we are always looking to revolutionize and further consume people, as commodities, within our relationships. always thinking that we should run away from security and stability, thinking that settling into a place, planting roots, is unrealistic and unattainable, impractical. we are trained to consistently seek the next thing, to become inherently unsatisfied and unsatisfactory.
we are never fully present in love because we are conditioned to assume its end and replacement, we are always predicting loss, that our experiences of one another can only be temporary. we have no incentive to choose one another in this world, to stay, to build and grow, because we expect to be left behind, to be replaced, to lose one another.
we do not stay within discomfort, we do not transcend it, because the capitalist within us tells us to start anew at all times, this voice, behaving as a parasite to our truest needs in community, tells us that longevity, accountability and commitment to each other and ourselves, to community and restoration, to repair and love, to honor, is temporary and therefore nonexistent.
the only long term thing we can imagine and believe in (to imagine and believe are incredibly different acts of faith), is our perpetual suffering, inevitable collapse, and misery.
as the masses, we are strangers to love, to a home that is not easily destroyed, to places to which we can return and rest. this existence is a disease. to believe that goodness can only survive outside of where we currently are, that love can only be cultivated, nurtured, and flourish in far away gardens, with flowers foreign to our own soil, is torment. we become a problem to which there is no solution. we begin to find our resolve in lovelessness.
we begin to develop our faith in a certainty that we are anything but chosen, everything outside of the bounds of worthiness, anything but capable of this distant love.
many of us cannot imagine being known within our misery and despair. we cannot imagine being intentionally held, called by our names, honored as sacred. we have nothing to give but our truth, our rawest, most undeniable forms which cannot be exchanged on the market. we cannot imagine why people would desire to keep us with nothing to sell. we can only understand absence and abandonment. we justify and accept our insignificance and replacement, marking ourselves inevitably disregarded. within the belly of the beast, we look for answers and this is the only plausible reality.
in the absence of our ancestors, we believe lies.