we who cannot see the beauty
that resides in our collective struggle
for liberation..
will soon be devoured
by our own insatiable thirst
for validation and survival
and the beast that haunts us all
cannot survive in the light,
he may only take hold of us
when our fear of the shadows
becomes so consuming
that we can see no way
out of the darkness
most city kids couldn’t recognize themselves in a crowd
i envy this at times
you see kids like me only become dreamers because we spend so much time alone trapped within our minds
that we have to know the world within
the one that restores faith in human kind
even if it ceases to exist in the morning
we don’t have quick fixes or escapes
just that mindful time made up off that 1/8
more like a 1/4 if i’m being honest
alone in your room
making hieroglyphs out of dancing light
fiending for a reprieve that the drugs could never get you
and still you reach
because at least the weed helps to pass the time out here
in these places where there’s nowhere to go but up
even if you stumble
we’re the kids who take the long way home,
the ones with those old film cameras to capture life because we know how quickly presence can fade into memories even if we do our best to hold on
we make playlists for the month just to let you in on how we felt, more like how we’re feeling, but these permanent time stamps of how digital footprints bring our paths closer together at times soon fade too, because seasons change and holding onto the past only keeps you from seeing the beauty of what is right in front of you
we’re not big on birthdays because your company has always been just enough
and we don’t say goodbyes, not really anyway, because we never wanted this to end, or at least i never did
kids like us stay away from the crowd because they hate wallflowers and it’s not my fault that i hate how the spotlight can change you if you’re not careful
so we come to a difference of opinion more often these days
and i’m not with the dramas but he was right about the sky being what we stand on to reach the beyond
like breakfast in bed in Bali
just you and me
on the vision board sometimes but more likely found in those midday dreams
we’re the romantics that got caught up in the city of lost souls, how easily we find home in one another because real recognise real and you not with me in the mornings makes me sick if i think about it for too long and i can tell you this because you not from the city so you won’t use it against me and that’s why i love you
and we say i love you toos in exchange because we hold ourselves accountable to presence in love
but remember, kids like us spend time alone, so forgive me for being so comfortable with myself that it can seem like i forget about you at times, i promise i keep you close to me
on some 13 pages in my notebook diary type shit , deep in my heart right next to the place that my dreams manifest
so next time you need me, know i’ll be somewhere in cali, looking for the sunlight that breaks through the clouds like the day i realised i could shine too if i could just get out of my head for a little while
our people got misplaced anger, i know it’s righteous even if misguided
because even if you don’t have the words, you know better than to break bread with sellouts who disregard our hearts while talkin’ bout pan-Afrikan unity
all for the next white man’s opportunity…
how insecure do you have to be to study the struggle and still behave like a tyrant?
in the same breath speakin’ of liberation, you have single-handedly prevented us from achieving
so i ask, who are you, black zombie?
stuck in a loop of validation and black excellence as if your ancestors didn’t already know of their greatness
who are you, black zombie?
moved so easily by cameras and flashy things, thinkin’ designer gon save you from this treachery…
who are you, black zombie?
sayin’ “she too radical” like i haven’t seen the love of Afrikan babies knowing who they are, strong faith in who they meant to be, a truth you still chasin‘ and you almost twenty-three
who are you, black zombie?
i urge you to listen closely while the elders speak of this legacy
and when the dust settles i’ll ask again, who are you, black zombie?
you see i speak in frustration but never without love for my community because i don’t want to see you in a mansion or with them new cars without your mind free…
trynna reveal to you the cost of your dignity, pleading for you to understand that your purity cannot be commodified
and that slowing down to hear me clearly will not prevent your success but enable your autonomy….
need you to understand me because they still killin’ us and feeding you “higher” education upping the doses of fallacy and white supremacy
and we all addicted
to know your way out is the true prize and i would rather stand alone than dance with the devils who taught us to hate ourselves
but the choice is yours, so i ask again, who are you, black zombie?
and even if you have no answer, i hope the next time we speak you’ll be wide awake
as we cannot afford to sleep while the police and fascist empires erode our. minds and haunt us in our dreams
so i ask one more time, who are you, black zombie?